Quite honestly, some people need everything put on the table, so they know what they are dealing with, while other people can`t handle all of the information at once. I am sure your husband and you both know how your desire for information flows.
This part sounds very much like me, with a relationship I had, about this time last year.
You can skin a cat more then one way, as the old saying goes. Just make sure to skin it fairly.
Your crush sounds like he hasn`t quite figured out why he likes you yet either , but theres something there that he does like.
He`s getting to know you in a manner he feels comfortable with, because he`s truly interested. Sounds good to me.
Your husband needs you to go slow anyways,...and give him time to wrap his brain around it, and build some security.
If your husband is more submissive, it will always be YOUR ACTIONS with this, that influence his confidence. So,...go slow,....even in your excitement for the new crush. At the same time,..whatever things have slowed down between your husband and you, you need to pick it back up, and get excited with him.... For him.
In poly, ......a little goes a long way, in helping our SO`s see that they are part of a healthy balance, very much needed, and loved.