thanks for the concerns and yes we have concerns too. gf always wanted to get married so this is my way of saying I am in this for the long haul, I am committed to her and our daughter and to keeping our family together because I love them both dearly. she has to deal with new relationship and trying to fit that in to her life with work and young family so that is why I felt that a break from poly might work. I feel the other relationship is more important to gf than work or family or wedding and that is our main issue. we are trying to come to some compromise and create boundaries about poly while also planning a wedding and giving our young daughter what she needs. I am at home babysitting now while she is with OP so I am trying to be as helpful and supportive as I can.