View Single Post
  #14  
Old 11-23-2010, 06:10 PM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,569
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
If this were me I think I would suck it up, agree to do this with the understanding that if you are not to touch who you want to then neither is he, and go out and have the best time ever. Knowing that boundary negotiations are not over yet.
This was kind of what I was thinking, actually my thoughts actually were much more confrontational and retaliatory, but this is healthier. I know it doesn't bother you, but his double standard does. He needs to be bound by his rules as well.

I think you guys need to come up with new boundaries. No one should ever be completely ignored. Maybe before a group outing/event you and Maca could sit down together, get a feel for his mood and reassure him that your interaction with GG doesn't mean you love him less, but you won't be ignoring him either.

When we have something out of the ordinary going on, an all day event, road trip, etc, I have to do this for my oldest kid. I have to spell out the plan for the day and warn him that plans may change at a moments notice. If we promise to stop somewhere, but something prevents that (traffic, etc), it doesn't mean we lied, it means that circumstances have changed and we need to adapt. Before I started giving him this warning, he would focus on the fact that we didn't do something on the plan and he couldn't get past it. I found that when doing this for the kid, I was also able to do it for myself as well and I delt with SNAFUS much better.
Reply With Quote