Originally Posted by redpepper
I'm sorry Technicandy, but you cheated with this man it seems to me... that is really too bad as it causes a world of trouble and often means that things are strained afterward as people who are cheated ON have very strong feelings of betrayal and disrespect. Your consenting to his advances because he made the first move is meaningless here, as you CONSENTED. You had a chance to back down at that point and you didn't.
I'm well aware that this was very casual, but I will clarify that I know it wasn't
cheating because I did ask him about that before we got too far. He and his partner have an open relationship when it comes to sex, so neither of us broke any rules by becoming intimate. I'd just like him to tell his partner anyways because even if it's allowed, if this relationship continues I don't want to feel like we're sneaking around behind his back.
And as for the sex being curiosity that I am a female, I should also clarify that I'm not the first female they've had in their relationship. I've found out from talking to a mutual friend of ours that a few months before I met them they were in a serious relationship with a female partner, and that things ended badly and she left but they stayed together. There is a possibility that they could be seeking someone to fill that hole, but I'm absolutely being realistic about this. There is
that possibility, but I'm not going to trick myself into thinking this is more serious than it is just because I want a romantic relationship with them. I hope
that there's a future for this relationship, but if it was just casual sex then I'm fine with that too, as long as I'm still able to be friends with the two of them in the long run. My biggest worry I guess is that I've ruined my chances of having any sort of deep relationship with them, friendship or otherwise.
Either way I've written him an email and finally gotten up the courage to send it, so I suppose now it's just a waiting game to find out where this is going and if we (I) made a mistake by jumping the gun for sex because of mutual physical attraction.
But thank you everyone who's replied, it really has helped me a lot just to get a little perspective on this. I really do appreciate it~