Originally Posted by Superjast
Swinging was something you did TOGETHER. It`s a couples sport.
It is something that binded you two together. A physical 'high' of how strong you are that as a TEAM.... you can do something so,..different.
I am sure he is worried about 'This being the beginning of the end'..or ' What if she wants a new husband' ,..etc,..etc,. because you are branching away (in his eyes) from something you`ve always done together.
That`s scary for him. Poly tends to force us to confront our worst fears. Even in the best of relationships they deal with this aspect.
There is nothing wrong with that. Make sure he knows this. Men seem to try and be stronger in the beginning of this, then they are truly feeling on the inside. Then it explodes later down the read.
There is also nothing wrong with swinging at all. You`ve always been true to yourself before, and there is nothing saying you can`t keep being true to yourself in the future. Make sure he knows you aren`t throwing away your old life just yet.
Be careful that the crush doesn`t over ride you. Be prepared to lose battles in order to win the war. In the beginning, also be prepared to weather the storms of mistakes made in the past.
Enjoy the forum, and keep on reading
Hubby has made me solemnly swear that if the new guy tries to get me to leave him I will end the relationship. I keep trying to explain to him over and over that it will not happen. I did promise that I would end it if it did come to that, I just don't ever see that happening Mr. DNPWWO is not interested in me that way.... (at least not that I know of)...
I love my husband so much. AND I love him even more for being brave enough in the face of his fears to allow me the freedom to explore this.
Again, I have not discussed this with the new fellow... he has no clue I've thought of this, he's not a swinger, nor is he poly to the best of my knowledge. He's a forever single guy... and yes I am a bit distracted in my fantasies of him at this point....wondering if one day I can manage to entice him into a full poly relationship with me...
now to figure out the signs of how to know when he's ready for THAT conversation....