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Old 11-22-2010, 10:51 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 652

*more big hugs*

I can certainly understand your frustration with the situation. Loving them both means demonstrating love to both of them, right? Perfectly natural.

But, given everything that's going on with Maca right now, and all the unresolved issues he's trying to work through, I can also understand how observing you being affectionate with GG would hurt Maca.

The situation stinks, no doubt about it, and my heart just breaks for all of you. I'm so sorry for y'all's pain.

So what to do? I don't know, except to try and put myself in your shoes. If it were me, there's no way I'd be willing to restrict my affectionate nature forever. I'm very demonstrative and I know I couldn't pigeonhole that part of me indefinitely. I just couldn't do it. But I would be willing to refrain from physical displays of affection for the short term if it meant helping Fidelio work through his issues, strictly as a show of support for him. I would need to clearly define the parameters and I would need a definite ending to the restrictions, but I would be willing to try it for Fidelio. And I wouldn't want the first time to try out the new boundary to be a big-deal holiday event with lots of friends and family present. I'd prefer to test the waters when there was no pressure, a simple dinner date or some such. So that if it didn't work, we end the date and no harm done. At least, I THINK that's what I'd try to do.

Whatever y'all decide and however it works out, here are some good vibes and hugs going out to all y'all.
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