Thread: Too Fast?
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Old 11-22-2010, 05:05 PM
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Technicandy Technicandy is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Idaho
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Question Too Fast?

So. Something happened between a poly friend and myself a few nights ago that has been nagging at me horribly, but I don't have any friends who would understand/aren't too involved to talk to. But I need to talk about it, so naturally I began looking for help elsewhere, and my searching has led me here to this wonderful site that seems to be brimming with helpful information/people. I've been poking through the threads for a while now, but I haven't seen much mentioning something like my particular situation, so here I am to ask for advice.

I'll start by stating that I am apparently a unicorn (I had no idea of the term until this morning, but I do appreciate the humor) in that I am a young (21) bisexual female with an interest in poly relationships, though I don't have any personal experience...or at least I didn't up until a few nights ago.

I have a group of four friends, all of whom are poly (though not all together--they're just roomies who share every now and then). Two of them have been friends with me since I was in high school (though they were older) and the other two I've only just met recently, but have become close with rather quickly. It's with these latter two that my problem(?) arises. I'm quite attracted to both of them (they are both male, if that's important for any reason) but hadn't thought to bring it up because frankly I was under the misconception that both of them were only interested in men. I found out otherwise the other night while one of them was out of town and I was left alone with the other while my original friends had gone to bed. He playfully suggested getting a little cuddly and I definitely wasn't opposed. thing led to another and here I am with my dilemma.

I don't know what this new intimacy means.

I'm not terribly experienced in relationships to begin with, so things like casual sex and polyamory (as interested as I am in it) are quite outside my normal spectrum. I'm entirely out of my element here, I'm not sure what to do. I'd certainly like to continue this relationship, and my friend has indicated that he would too, but I'm not sure if it would just be with him or if his partner would be involved as well (which I certainly wouldn't be opposed to)--or if he's even going to tell his partner what happened (I honestly don't know what I'll do if he doesn't).

Mostly I'd just like a little reassurance or advice so I stop driving myself crazy thinking that I've utterly ruined a blossoming friendship by jumping into the sack with my friend too quickly (though I'll remind he was the one to initiate it). Should I call him and talk? Or just wait until I see him again and talk then? (I intend on talking to him either way, but if this is more casual than I'm thinking, I don't want to appear clingy/awkward). Please help? <3
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