The promise of "forever" but not the promise of "honesty".
Well isn't that just hitting the nail on the head of what the problem with marriage is. I think "honesty" should be added to those vows that are handed to us because for some reason we think we can't make our own.
I'm so glad I didn't say those when I married my husband because they really do sink in some how and have meaning. We made our own and still stick to them. "Honesty" was amongst the words I believe as we were poly back then too.
Maybe you could make your own vows about this whole thing. Something along the lines of, "I will vow to stay true to myself and my boundaries. I will take care to not become so involved that I don't leave a path to the future that is my own and no one elses. I will live in the moment, while keeping the future in mind. I will nurture what I am creating, stay open to change, growth, self care and love. I will be honest and willing to let go of jealousy, fear, and any past experience that could taint what I have today."
Any, all or whatever works for you, could be very powerful in making yourself feel content with things where they are and where you are going. This kind of thing helps me on a daily basis as I tend to get wrapped up in things that I have no control over and have nothing to do with me.
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