We are both in the same boat as we are both in long-term relationships with partners who refuse. My husband makes me feel dirty if I bring it up, so I keep it buried deep inside. I believe The Big D is inevitable. What do you think you will do? The heartache is so aweful - I'm right there with ya.
Are you referring to The Strange Sex episode on polyamory? The lightbulb went on in my head when I first saw it. Everything made sense to me after that.