View Single Post
  #6  
Old 11-22-2010, 01:59 AM
Onysablet Onysablet is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: California
Posts: 4
Default

We have been together for five years. i have always been honest with him about my wants but he has always expressed a lot of insecurity, so i always held off. i kind of thought that if we ease into it, as primary partners, then things would get better and he would feel less insecure as he saw that he was not being dumped for the other guy or girl. but he really just thought that i would grow out of this 'mood' and put the 'fantasy' of my past poly relationships behind me. he has been really good to me for five years thou, when i met him i was really self destructive because one of my prior partners was abusive. i have become a stronger person through his love and affection. but now, especially in the past two years, i have met a lot of really nice people and couples, with whom i would enjoy a poly relationship with. but my lover says no. i have been trying to get him to read, Opening Up, with me. but he really rejects book learning.
i am really thinking that ending it with him is the only thing i can do. he says he loves me but could never stand seeing me with another. i have been working on making him feel secure, but it never seems enough, i am bending over backwards to make him feel secure, but this forces me to sacrifice all my other friendships and only focus on him.
i have probably ancwered my own question, but is there a way to save this? or is there really no way to work with a person with such deep insecuritys?
poly is natural to me like all of my kink and stuff, but none of what i like is natural to him.
i guess i need to stop deluding my self that he will change.
answered my own question.
Reply With Quote