I know I need to talk about how I feel with her, but the issue is that
1) I'm not even sure seeking someone for affection while she is absent is something I want. I don't feel it would be fair to the other person, because I think that I would be sitting there thinking. " I wish she was W." But then, I could be wrong. I might fall madly in love with someone else. I have no idea because I have no basis of experience, I've never dated outside my marriage.
I honestly don't know what I want in this department, so bringing up a topic I'm still confused on seems like high risk, low benefit.
2) when I agreed to walk this road 2 years ago, I promised that I wouldn't "use what she is doing as reason to sleep with someone else." The situation she is in is drastically different from the original almost triad we were in, but the fact I promised has not. She just had a fight with my metamour over him contemplating the same, dating others while she is away, and it didn't go over well. He made no such promise to her, and she still reacted poorly.
*sigh* This shit is awful complicated. I shoulda been a swinger instead
This multiple love thing is a hell of a lot of work.