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Old 11-21-2010, 08:53 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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Default How to be a whole hearted person

What is the difference between people who really have a sense of worthiness; a strong sense of love and belonging vs. people that don't? What separates them is their belief that they are worthy of love and belonging. What keeps people apart from this is their fear that they are not worthy.

Whole hearted people have:
  • Sense of courage: telling the story of who they are with your whole heart. They have the courageous to be imperfect.
  • Compassion to be kind to themselves first: we can't be compassionate if we don't treat ourselves kindly.
  • Connection as a result of authenticity: willing to let go of what we think we should be in order to be who they were. Only then do we find connection.
  • Fully embrace vulnerability: belief that what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful; not comfortable, but necessary. Willingness to be first to say I love you, do something where there are no guarantees, invest in a relationship that may or may not work out... this is fundamental to being joyous in life. Surrender and walk into it.

Numbing vulnerability vs. living in a vulnerable world
  • Evidence seems to be that we are the most in debit, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in US history because we numb ourselves.
  • The problem is that we cannot numb emotion. We feel emotion regardless of suppression.
  • We can't numb bad emotions without numbing the good stuff; joy, gratitude, happiness.
  • When we numb emotions we are miserable and looking for purpose and meaning and become vulnerable. Which is what we didn't want to be... it becomes a cycle. The more afraid we are the more vulnerable we are the more afraid we are... it cycles.

Why and how do we numb ourselves?
  • We make everything we do that is uncertain, certain: ie. Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to I'm right you're wrong, shut up; politics looks like this also as there is no discourse anymore, no conversation, just blame, which is a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
  • We perfect: Children are hardwired for struggle when they get here. They come out perfect but our job is not to keep them perfect but to let them know they are worthy of love and belonging regardless of what imperfections they have as they get older.
  • We pretend: That what we do doesn't have an effect on people. It's important to be authentic and real and say sorry, we'll fix it.

Vulnerability is important in order to feel alive
  • We need to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen
  • We need to love with our whole hearts even though there is no guarantee
  • We need to practice gratitude and joy in moments of terror.
  • We need to believe we are enough
  • We need to stop screaming and start listening in order to create kindness and gentleness to those around us.

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Last edited by redpepper; 11-22-2010 at 05:40 AM.
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