Originally Posted by Onysablet
Hello, Just need some advice.
I have been poly all my life and have been in several poly relationships before.
i went through a crash and burn phase and ended up getting with a really good mono partner. Problem: for five years i have been mono with him, but unhappy. i talk to him about being poly and how not being poly affects me. he wants me to be only Mono and sees the poly side of me as like a sickness or lack of love for him. he doesn't want to read any books or seek council on this. i do love him in my own way, but i have been making a sacrifice to my own personal happiness. I do not think i can make him feel secure enough. we have been fighting about this for about three months. i would mention it once or twice a year but get only negative results which force me to conceal my poly further. now i cannot stand it any more and i keep pushing to get my needs met. am i wrong? should i break it off? i do not know what to do, just feel heart sick...
I think you should take a break. Go separate ways and explore people who fit your natures better. Do you really want to spend your life in agony because you are denying yourself other relationships? Is it fair to ask him to possibly subject himself to a life of agony over new relationships coming into your and his life?
Sometimes people are better off sharing certain aspects of themselves as opposed to all. Perhaps you would make better friends than lovers.