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Old 08-24-2009, 04:03 PM
Anonymous Anonymous is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 6
Question Dating… should I limit myself?

Forgive me if I'm duplicating a thread, but I couldn't find anything discussing this topic.

I see threads on here about dating other polys, mostly through websites or groups. But is it ethical to pursue someone that may not be poly. Let me explain:

my wife's partner was not aware of this… "type of thing…" before she talked with him about her's, and our, interests. We are still in the beginning of the relationship and seeing how things go, and it seems like everyone is doing well. I have decided to not jump right into a relationship myself, but there is someone I'm interested in. She's not a close friend right now, someone that I just hang out with on occasion, and always around mutual friends. I think she's interested, or at least finds me attractive and likes my personality. But is it wrong to attempt to develop a stronger relationship with this person, when in all actuality, she's probably not looking for a situation like mine? Or am I wrong in assuming what her thoughts are and should let her decide?

I tend to lead toward the latter scenario, but I assume that I'm biased. Either way, with her or anyone else, I intend to develop a friendship first, then proceed from there. Does anyone have a similar situation they've been in? Should I just avoid the situation altogether?

Just to let everyone know, the reason I'm concerned with this situation is that my wife and I are very discrete about our beginning poly life. So this is not something that all my friends are aware of. For now, we'd like to keep it this way. Am I treading in dangerous waters by even considering this person? Like I said, it's nothing immediate, but I'm curious if I should just be looking in another direction…
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