Erin, your story resonates with me right down to the ground. I am older than you, 55, and now divorcing a man who is so similar to yours! A straight vanilla white man.
He knew I was bi from the start but didn't accept it for 20 years! He used to say stupid things like, "What are you? A fucking lesbian?" Um, no, how could I be a lesbian when I was so obviously also attracted to men? Finally he did accept my bi nature. We also opened our marriage at that time, and tried things with a unicorn. But that didnt work out, as she was actually only attracted to him and was more of what I now know as a "cowgirl," interested in taking him away from me.
We attempted poly for those 10 years, in theory more than in practice. We had 3 young children and I really had no interest in seeing others, as I was too busy raising and homeschooling our kids. Our sex life amazingly improved as our love grew less, which was weird.
Finally for that and other reasons, we split. I am so much happier now, even tho my financial situation is less comfortable. I'm in a wonderful relationship with a beautiful woman and she and I are both bi and see others, mostly men. I hope you can spare yourself the pain and get out now. I take it you don't have children? That makes things much less complicated.
The weight comment is also a really low blow. Going from a size 10 to a 12 is what? A 10 lb weight gain? For goodness' sakes. What a douchenozzle.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)