It sounds like you need to decide if its time to fish or cut bait. Its been awhile, perhaps its time to not take no for an answer and start talking about boundaries. Even if the boundaries are heavily weighed on her side, at least there will be some movement. Going at the pace of the one who is struggling the most is all very well, but there has to be movement, either deeper into poly or moving out of the relationship. It sounds like she knows some stuff, and supports other peoples poly, time to put her money where her mouth is and bite the bullet and try it. It sounds like you all get along with this woman and its an ideal person to try things out with.
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