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Old 11-19-2010, 07:15 PM
NorCalK NorCalK is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Fran Bay Area
Posts: 11

Originally Posted by Danny40179 View Post
So how old is this guy? Because all I'm seeing is someone that's involved in a 3some, not a poly relationship. He's living every man's dream and that's all he can think about. I used to be more selfish when I was younger until I realized that it's AS MUCH FUN TO PLEASE MY PARTNERS AS IT IS TO HAVE THEM PLEASE ME!!! What a concept!!!

Ok, didn't mean to be that sarcastic, but he's obviously being VERY selfish in the bedroom and he needs to be told. It's not going to be a pleasant conversation but if you both feel the same way, then maybe having you both sit him down and have a frank talk will hit home. Or he could feel that you're both attacking him. If that's the case then maybe you should drop him and you and your gf should find someone who'll be a bit more fair.

Just my 2 cents.
He's 27. Him and our gf have been together for 6 years. And he did say he felt like he was being attacked when both her and I were agreeing on some things when we were having a discussion about his more self-centered tendencies. But I think that as time goes on, he may get used to the fact that sometimes when his partner disagrees with him, the other one will, too, and it's not just going to be a 50/50 disagreement anymore. I think it was hard for both my bf and my gf to see me agreeing with her on stuff that they have disagreed on for years. And Danny, I'm sure he DOES care about me as his gf but he just seems to insist on more attention all the time. Ever since we have been seeing each other for a month he has voiced that it seems that I prefer my gf over him several times. Which is bullshit, until it comes down to times like this. I believe that he's self-centered and paranoid like this because he is an only child. I don't think he'll take kindly to me suggesting that, though...

Originally Posted by Danny40179 View Post
If that's the case then maybe you should drop him and you and your gf should find someone who'll be a bit more fair.
The shitty thing is, this argument has had me flirting with that idea the last couple of days. She just seemed so burnt-out on her relationship with him by the end of the talk we were having that I sometimes wonder if she would be better off without him. Which sucks, she is dearly in love with him and I love him too. If he could just open his eyes a little bit and be less stubborn this relationship would be amazing. However, I haven't been able to help but look up places to live on Craigslist and wonder if 30 hours a week at work would work out with my classes. And I especially hate that I am even considering letting this relationship interfere with my schoolwork, I am bent on transferring in a year and a half to UCSD to finish my Bachelor's and then hopefully go to law school. I'm trying to live with my parents while I do my lower-division work so I can save money. I've just really fallen for these two people and if she needed my help, I'd do anything.
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