Bob's threats of hurting himself are not your fault. Try not to carry it. You were honest with him. He's had time to get used to the idea. He's been pressuring you to talk before you were ready. I'm sorry that it's come to this for you but your heart will heal and sooner or later you'll be able to look back and see what Bob brought into your life in a positive light and he will be able to do the same as well. He might not know it yet but you have given him a gift of being honest with him before you married. To know who you both are and that in this way you aren't compatible gives you both the chance to be happy and complete in your relationships in the future. <hugs>
PS call me if you want to go for a coffee and a chat.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.