Originally Posted by SlikkNikk
Amen! She does try to speak up sometimes but she waits till she is @ the end of her rope and that doesn't make for cohesive communication. I internalize which isn't inclusive toward my partners which is also something to be worked on.... it has taken me 4 days of reading all these posts to even find a thought of mine I deem worth saying outloud. The concentration of our poly commitment has for so long been centered around doing and saying and showing and proving all that is centered around all that my gf needs (wifey). I have gotten out of the practice of self centered thinking that I am not even sure how to do that constructivly or that my gf is in the right place for me to unreservingly communicate my needs, thoughts, feelings and emotions like she has been claiming to need in all her posts because we are still in a wifey centric practice in this poly relationship of which I am bottom totum. Berhaps I feel expressing my inner workings deserves fairness not prominate in out relationships dynamic @ this time.
I live with someone who internalizes everything and doesn't say anything until he has formulated what he believes to be the "safe" version. This causes issues, because somethings are never addressed, because they weren't on his "safe" list. He thinks he is keeping the peace and trying to "make me happy", when in turn it makes me feel that I am not worthy enough for him to tell his thoughts to. It makes me feel like a second or third class citizen and that he really doesn't have any respect or love for me. Of course this isn't true, but that's where my head goes when he doesn't trust me with his thoughts and feelings.