One size does not fit all, and your mileage may vary. Any configuration can work, and any configuration can fail.
What works for my tribe may not work for y'all. The three of you need to find what will work for your particular situation. This may mean some experimentation, some trial-and-error, some give-and-take. My advice is to try lots of different approaches until you find the one that works best, and keep plenty of Lube handy. (Are you there, Imaginary?
Can a sister get an amen?)
That's the main thing I wanted to say. Since I'm posting anyway, I'd like to add:
If your bf wants to be the initiator, he should initiate. ( what a revelation). This will be easier in bed with his lovers than at the computer.
If you feel your bf is insisting on too much of the sexual attention, you should express that and work with your lovers to a find a solution that works for ALL of you.
Scheduling sex doesn't work for me, never has, but I know for some people it's the way to go. Again, one size does not fit. all. Try it out; if it doesn't work for y'all, try something else.
As y'all are working through these issues, try to keep in mind all the people who would LOVE to have this be the big issues they're working on!
Good luck to y'all as you move forward, and happy solution-seeking!