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Old 11-18-2010, 05:32 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,441

When I'm in love, it pretty much starts with non-sexual affection... What I think about is hugging, holding hands, cuddling... Actually, until I start a relationship, often it's like I'm not allowing myself to have sexual fantasies "without their consent".
Now, I realise doing so wouldn't be a problem, and I do have fantasies about perfect strangers, etc, but I guess what I mean is that they're so elevated in my mind that "base" feelings like sexuality are barely relevant. I love them on a different level.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense here. My point is that non-sexual affection sounds very much normal to me. When I develop feelings for people, it either start with non-sexual affection (sometimes with a small dose of sexual attraction too, but it's never on the front of my mind) or with sexual attraction. The first type is the one that has turned into long-term relationships for me. The other one has evolved into either a friend with benefits (has happened once) or (most of the time) nothing at all.
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
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