Topics like this are why I come here. The bond that two people have is what I believe distinguishes Polyamory.
The wife and I have looked several times over the years for a friends first long term relationship, only to find people who will tell you what you want to hear just to bed you.
For us, it has never been about the sex.. Swinging has never even been an option.. which is kind of odd, because we are very (if not overly so) sexual with each other.