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Old 11-18-2010, 03:58 AM
nto nto is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 10

No, I haven't tried being there, mostly because I don't think I could. She talks about any guy she is thinking about dating (note: not crushing on. She can be interested, think they are cute, whatever, doesn't bother me a bit) and I start getting fist clenching angry. No idea why. I'm not gonna DO anything with the anger, but it would be just awesome to not be that angry.

My current strategy is to try to not be aware as much as possible. I don't want to know, la la la, fingers in ears. But she's excited. She wants to talk to him on the phone. Great. Guess I'll wait to go in that room. For a few hours. She wants to talk to our roommate about it. Great. Guess I'll leave the room then.

It's irritating, but it keeps the amount of time I am sitting there tensed up to a minimum. And I don't think it's gonna help me get over it.

I have all sorts of stupid changes running through my head. I could move out till she loses interest. I could just say I can't deal with polyamory. I could just say no men, but then I'm a dick, because she got over me being with another woman. I can drink. That last one, being temporary, has won a few times the last week.

I'm trying really damn hard to sort this out really damn fast. She can slow things down physically and such, but no one picks the speed feelings develop, and I'm gonna feel like a real dick if I can't get over it, but it took me a couple months to realize it, and strong feelings have developed.
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