I personally believe its not my place to get involved with my lovers issues unless its to do with me. Mono is super good at that. I am just learning. Its hard to have to hear about it and I realize that venting to me is good, but I struggle to keep my opinions to myself. I decided, with the help of a friend, to not invest in the drama unless I get to a place where its a make or break deal. Then I will have to say why and it will all have to come out before the relationship ends.
With your situation I think I would remove myself and look after my best primary; me. It sounds like you have some major things come up and they should be looked at before hearing anything more about what is going on for them. Some boundary setting around what you want to hear in their presence would be completely fair I think.
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