I really feel for you. The pain of the learning curve can be a very harsh thing to feel.
Thats the thing with poly that I don`t think can be said enough,....
Even if you do everything right.
Even if you are open, honest, and follow all the proper procedures,...
Even if you don`t get wrapped up in NRE, even if you and a partner go into it together....
There will still be many bumps in the road. Including heartaches.
It takes intestinal fortitude to keep learning, and to keep trying to find that balance which makes it beautiful.
'Perserverance' is a understatement.