Lily, you are a very articulate and a woman that really thinks and pushes her self. I love your list and the thought the two of you put into breaking it all down and getting to the crux of the situation. Good for you for being such awesome communicators! I am really impressed as this is a very hard situation and all the more hard to communicate!
I am with Vandalin on this one too. I really think that you would be best served by spending some time together and getting to know each other. I think it would be best to arrive and leave separately (all three of you) as that would make all three of you equal. Not to mention I think Arpeggi should do his best to sit quietly and perhaps add comments here and there after the two of you talk for a while. I think refraining from touching either of you might be helpful, or at least if he touches one of you he should touch the other also... the more balance and separateness the better so as to make all of you feel as comfortable as possible.
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