Originally Posted by zyx5
One thing we have observed recently is how socially acceptable it is for a spouse to cheat on their wife/husband. You hear about it almost everyday in the news, at work, church, or other social circles. But allowing and being full aware your spouse have a relationship, intimate, friendly or otherwise with another person is so taboo. Why is that?
My opinion? Most people neither know how to, nor are they willing to, investigate social norms carefully. They accept social norms as if they decended from Heaven. "You just live by the rules -- you don't make them."
And yet, most people aren't really well-suited for twenty, thirty or fifty years of monogamy..., and yet many of these same folks are unwilling to say so to their parners/lovers/husbands/wives.... So they simply avoid the whole issue, by not saying a word about any of it. They instead "cheat" -- meaning that they lie about how they are really living. They don't want to lose or abandon their committed relationships, but they are unwilling to commit to openness and honesty about all of the above.
Polyamorists have a dramatically different notion of what commitment is, what fidelity is, even what love is. We're no less committed, no less loving, no less loyal, however.
"Cheating" is mainly an avoidence of truth and reality.