Thanks gogumgirl. That's an optimistic view. My gut tells me otherwise, but there's nothing to do but wait.
So, normally I spend the weekends with my gf in Boston, but I stayed here in Lowell to see R this past weekend. When he didnt show, it basically fucked up my weekend, socially. Of course then I came down with this bad cold anyway. Just not a good weekend.
Last night I had a long chat with my gf. I am still rather sick, but my son has gone back to his dad's til Dec 4, so I am going to gird my loins, pack up and go to the gf's today.
We're leaving for Florida next Tuesday, the 23rd, to visit my family for Thanksgiving. However, there's a kink/poly/queer conference in Worcester this coming weekend, Transcending Boundaries, which we went to last year, but we've decided we shouldn't go, b/c of leaving for Florida right after the weekend, so monetarily and stress-wise, it just didn't make good sense.
So, I'll go to Boston til the weekend, then come back here and pack for our Florida trip, then come back to Boston Sunday or Monday, and our flight is on Tuesday.
She had told me her new bf, M, and his Lady, are doing an erotic photoshoot with a pro photographer this weekend and had invited her to observe. She told me this a couple weeks ago, when we thought we might be going to the conf. So, last night I said, you might as well go have fun at the photoshoot, since we're skipping the con. She got all excited and told M right away, since she had him in another chat window.
Then she told me the shoot is in Maine and would involve an overnight stay! I had no idea it was in Maine. I thought it was at their house or a rented studio somewhere around Boston. She insisted she told me it was in Maine from the start, I insist she never did.
Then she told me she might also see M this week sometime, while I am staying at her place.
...sigh... I got triggered b/c the last time she had a bf, last year, they had one lunch date, and then a dinner date at his place where she stayed overnight and didn't tell me she did, til I got to her place the next day and she wasn't there.
So. I spent last weekend here, waiting around for a no show. Then I got sick. Meanwhile she's planning a date with M while I am visiting her this week, and also planning a trip to Maine for an erotic photoshoot. I mean, she's being nice about it and all, telling me she loves me, saying she doesn't have to go to Maine if I am not comfortable. But I already told her she could, and I know she'll have a great time.
I'm just feeling sort of pitiful. *cough cough* *headache*
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37