New to poly and in need of advice
Hi there. A few months ago, some friends of mine (a married couple of 15 years) asked me if I would like to join their relationship. None of us had ever experimented with polyamory, and to be honest, the idea never really came up in my life. I knew that I was attracted to both of them as people and physically, and I felt really good being around them. Over the course of the relationship, however, I find myself increasingly attracted to the husband while my level of attraction and affection for the wife isn't really changing. I adore her and have fun with her, but I'm just not feeling the same level of connection as I do with him. When we're all together, it's fun and amazing and loving. But when we're apart, and I think about how I'm truly feeling and some feelings of jealousy come up, I fear that I'm making a mistake.
The other day, he told me he loved me. I have never felt as happy in my life. But, I know that she is having some feelings of being left out and that her and my bond isn't as strong as his and mine.
I know I should probably walk away, accept that I can't make the relationship work how they would like it to. I can't force myself to feel things for her or to be someone around her that I'm not. I know I have to be true to myself. And I would rather myself get hurt than her. But, at the same time, I've never felt this way about someone. He gets me as a person, emotionally and physically. And the chemistry is like none I have ever experienced.
I guess I know what I need to do, but wanted to see if I couldn't get some advice anyways.
Thanks for listening...