Oh RedPepper - such good questions! I was just discussing this with someone I have started dating.
The world of polyamory has such breadth, and the people in it each seem to have their own personal definitions of even the most frequently used terms.
Some people seem to be using the term "poly" to indicate they will sleep with anyone they date. Some people use it to describe that they only sleep with people whom they have feelings of "love". Some people use it to describe intimate friendships that don't involved sex at all.
It's a little confusing to me too!