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Old 11-16-2010, 12:40 AM
NorCalK NorCalK is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Fran Bay Area
Posts: 11

As the girlfriend of a couple that has been dating now 6 years, I feel that my experience may help you gain some insight on how your girlfriend may feel. As someone who has been dating them for about 4 months, I know I am not an equal part in their lives in many respects as they are to each other. However, I am exclusive with this couple. Thus, I expect to be treated FAIRLY, and be given the fair chance to someday be an equal in their relationship if fate works out that way. It sounds like you and your husband need to do some serious talking, but in terms of reassuring your girlfriend, being vocal about how much you love and care about her really helps. Lately I've felt like I just need my boyfriend or girlfriend (especially my boyfriend, he is less vocal about his feelings, very manly man) to tell me that I am appreciated and liked and adored ROMANTICALLY. For the girlfriend of an existing couple it is very easy to begin feeling like just a piece of ass sometimes. Insecurities may be pushing your girlfriend to project her fears on to YOU and try to make you into the villain, when only her insecurities are the culprit in her feelings. It is so easy to feel alone and scared in polyamory. But if all partners make an effort to vocalize how much they appreciate each other on a regular basis, that's what makes it not some scary world where you lose something, but an amazing, endless opportunity for infinite love.
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