Can either of them give examples of when your actions weren't "enough"? If you love them both and are trying to show that love, then it sounds like miscommunication to me.
For example (I work better with examples), Indigo understands gestures better than words. So, if I really appreciate something he's done, then a hug/kiss/cuddle goes a lot further in showing this than singing his praises.
However, I am the opposite. If Indigo appreciates something I have done, I would much rather he sing my praises than give me a big show of physical affection. He's currently making tacos for dinner, so I need to go thank him in his "language" for that.
Do a search for "love language" on here, as there's a fair bit of info.
I'm a pansexual female, married to and living with Indigo
(straight male), in a relationship with and living with Mr. A (straight, mono male).
One day I might stop "practicing" polyamory and just start living it!
Here Be Dragons
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
Nobody gets a toaster oven for recruiting monos.