Originally Posted by glowinthedarkstars
I dont think compersion is something I feel with frequency what soever. Maybe I feel it in hindsight or for fleeting moments when my bf is with another woman who makes him happy.
My boyfriend says he feels compersion for me and my girlfriend . He would also like me to have mutual compersion type feelings for the relationship he wants to build between himself and my gf. I simply cannot have feelings that do not exist (or rather, they exist in fleeting moments...and I think more "I am so lucky to have two people who I care about in the same bed with me" not exactly (much to my dismay) "I want my lovers to be sexual with one another".
I think those feelings may evolve over time. Yes I have known P for over a year but my gf, N I have only been with for a month. As much as id like some insta-compersion, I think I might have to wait, to become more secure in my relationships, more trusting and less fearful. Is this an appropriate way of looking at things?
or is it possible that if I dont feel compersion for my bf now, that I never will? Part of the reason I find it hard to access this compersion factor is probably because I feel afraid and threatened that my lovers will evolve in a way that will not include me. I dont rationally think this is the case but its a little annoying bug inside me that will not let up.
Well we can not predict how we will feel...I find joy in bringing wifey joy even if that does not include me I smile and feel warm when I see wifey and nikki interact...Wifey for sure does not share that same feeling...Nikki is understanding the idea of compresion and it seems like she has accepted it....Compresion comes after Jealousy, insecurity, envy, spite...and so on..