Originally Posted by vodkafan
I guess I was wondering about people who have maybe had poly leanings for years, but been more or less happy in a monogamous long term relationship, how they controlled themselves, whether it made them very unfulfilled etc etc; I wasn't talking about having a partner impose control on them. OK thanks for the replies, which were interesting.
I will try to be more specific about questions in future; it was really just an idle thought that popped in my head.
When Indigo and I started dating, I made it clear to him that eventually, I could not be exclusive to him and him alone. I fall in love too often, and the thought of never being able to do that again is heart-breaking to me. However, he'd had some bad experiences and needed time to build up trust.
We took that time, but I didn't realize until much later that I was trying to make him fulfill all of my needs while we built up trust. We are like a square hole and a rectangular peg. We are very close, but not a "perfect" match. Me, trying to make us fit perfectly, is damage that we're still working on repairing.
So no, I'm sure we wouldn't have lasted if we'd stayed monogamous. He is the first person I've been able to practice poly with. I find it no coincidence that he and I have been in the longest relationship of my life by more than twice any other.
I am looking forward to a long and happy life with my Indigo, and to experience the joys that others will bring to us, whether as individuals, or our partnership, for the long or short term.