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Old 11-15-2010, 04:09 PM
geminigirl's Avatar
geminigirl geminigirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 111

Hm, I think you've already done tremendous things in building poly community, Redpepper, both here online and locally with the women's group. I know many people who would not be involved in or feeling comfortable with polyamory were it not for you. I think you sell yourself short.

I view community-building as a process (a lifelong learning process, heh) that involves primarily a love for that community in all its changing forms and cycles. In my life, I prefer to seek attention from those I'm closest to so that I can put out energy to my community ('cause really, you put out far more energy than you get back when you find yourself leading a group). I find community attention to not be as sustaining in the long run as intimacy, and social contact is a bit different from being in a leadership position. You are so lucky in your poly family because you have a great support and foundation for the strength needed to give of yourself to a larger community.

I'm rambling a bit, but since I've found myself in a community-builder role I've pondered this often, and I came across an article the other day that pretty much summed it up for me in this one quote: To be a leader, "you have to own the crap and open-source the good stuff." Eg. You're responsible for decisions (especially your bad ones) but you don't really get to keep the credit for the good stuff -- that goes back into the community where it truly belongs.

Anyway, wanted to let you know how much you are loved and needed by the poly community here, so don't ever stop reaching out in the unique and compassionate way you do. You don't need to look far to find people who will be attracted to your warmth and desire to help -- they are already finding you!


PS Here is the link to the full article; it's a good one:
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