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Old 08-23-2009, 03:34 PM
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River River is offline
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Location: NM, USA
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Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
Everything else about this relationship is great at the moment – great sex, open communication, friendship, honesty, fun, chemistry, respect...
In another topic in this forum there has been talk about "security" in relation to commitment in loverly relationships. And as I was reading that I was thinking that while seeking certain kinds of "security" in loverly relationships is valid enough, and understandable enough, ... well, we humans are typically a fair bit confused as to what sort of security we can or should expect to find in our loverly relationships. What's realistic?

If already there is "great sex, open communication, friendship, honesty, fun, chemistry, respect... ", "at the moment," my goodness, there's about as much legitimate security in that as one could ever hope for! The key is which moment you are in.

The key is what moment you are in.

The key is what moment you are in.

I repeat this because this is the moment, right NOW, here and now, where the seed of the future can be nourished with your own lovingkindness and mindfulness. And the best way to nourish that seed is to let the future go. It's really none of your business. Rather, the seed of the future (which is now) is your business -- along with this infiinite present moment in all of its changes.

The surest way to poison future NOW moments is to wrap the present moment in anxiety about them. This also poisons the now moment. The anxiety that goes along the lines of "What if X leaves me?!" ... or "What if X suddenly dies in a firey plane wreck/cancer/meteor shower...? ... What does that fear/worry anxiety do? It makes us pull away, contract, ... We then fear giving our best or our all to X, because already X is abandoning us, in our imaginations. Our feared imaginings take over and poison the quality our relating with X, and that has an affect -- and the affect may be just what we fear most: distance rather than closeness with X!

Yes, the future needs attending to, of course! Yes, planning and thinking of the future is necessary -- to some extent, in appropriate and realistic ways. But if it is joy and happiness you want, attend primarily to now. Now is quite obviously all you have in time, the whole of it. The future belongs to itself, along with the past, but your purchase on existence and reality is ... right now. And then now again. And -- LOOK! -- it's still now.

And now again.
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Last edited by River; 08-23-2009 at 03:36 PM.
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