Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Has some of the excitement been taken away from meeting this guy because of the communication with your boyfriend?
Yes, and no. I do actually get a thrill out of knowing that I can share this with my boyfriend. It makes me feel whole and safe. At the same time I am thinking of all my past relationships and being terrified at the thought of my bf's rejection of any other partners I may have, mainly partners that are different from him (this guy is his complete opposite).
You are also right about where I am with my poly vs open issue. I do want more freedom to explore but I have a hard time figuring out when is the right time to mention any progress, and I mean ANY, to my bf. I fall fast and easy so I have crushes on folks all the time. I don't always feel the need to let him know because I never do anything about these crushes. The only times I have done anything my BF knew about it all from the start. Mainly because one guy was a good friend of his and the other man was a partner I have had for a few years now, before I met my bf.
This is the first time someone outside of our circle has shown any interest in me. As I mentioned before, I put an ad out for a dog group. The new guy, I'll call him Hunter, well, Hunter was one of three or four guys that answered. I did not tell my guy that I put out an add because it was related to my dog. He knows that I have been looking for walking and training partners. The only problem was that Hunter turned out to be very attractive and our dogs are on the same level. Hunter also shares some of my views about sex and, don't laugh, obsessive cleaning.
So, I kind of flipped out. Here's this awesome guy. He wants to hang out with our dogs but he also let me know that he was attracted to me and would like to explore, if I were interested. Of course I am.
So, because I didn't put out an ad for a romance (something I would have told my bf about from the get go) I felt as if I had skipped a step somehow, and not on purpose. And skipping that step screwed with my head and my emotions. As soon as I realized what was going on I freaked. I had this guilty feeling that I couldn't stand. I didn't know when to mentioned Hunter to my bf, I didn't know what to say.
I finally just said, "hey, I met someone and he's awesome..." that's how the convo started with my bf. (after reading your first reply, thanks btw)
I will say that my bf is the type of guy that doesn't want too much info about my other guys. So I never know what he's thinking really. I am totally comfortable with my bf telling me any and everything about girls he may deal with. it's just the way I am. He is still new to some of this so he can't handle all the info.
So, yes, I would like a little more freedom but at the same time I need my bf to keep me grounded and in reality. wow, didn't see myself typing this much so early.