Thread: How to ask...
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Old 11-13-2010, 06:10 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

I have been nurturing a relationship with a woman for almost a year. She is the caretaker of the building our company rents from her father. she isn't there often but whenever she is there I say hi and now talk to her a bit. I realized that she goes to a coffee shop I do and is in fact a regular there. We gave each other a smile at first and that has lead to conversations. Last night I was there with my men and my boy and she came in. She met all of them and we talked for a time all of us. I managed to tell her some of the things I have been wanting to say for awhile about our relationship with her dad that I thought might be getting in the way of us being friends... I was glad to and we were in a position now where she trusted me and could hear them knowing that I really mean what I say. It took time.... next time I see her I'm going to ask if she wants to go for coffee....

I really like her and want to be her friend. She is a lesbian and my experience with lesbians is that they don't get my pansexuality... it is a step that I dread, telling her who the men were that she met, although she knows that one is my boys dad. I intend, if we ever get there, to tell her that I have been nervous to tell her and why and then tell her my situation. I haven't invested in that ever happening, but as you say, I will act naturally and take it in my stride.

I have a big need for lesbian community in my life and that is where I would invest. I identified as a lesbian for 10 years and miss the feeling the community offered... we shall see, but, I hope you see from this that time is your friend... time and keeping at it. shy or not, it will all unfold
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