Maybe this is a matter of him making sure you are okay, making sure you know he still loves you and includes you. Maybe he is not so used to doing things without you and has a hard time separating.
The thing is that this relationship is his, not yours. Metamour relationships are not the same as love relationships and really I would think it is time for the bird to fly the nest. It sounds like it is getting uncomfortable for you to be involved so much and rightly so; she is not your lover....
I talked with someone before about this I think and we discussed how much one should get involved with the success of their partners relationship. She said that she knew stuff about him that could sabotage what he had created and I mentioned that really it was his relationship to do as he pleases. Their dynamic and what works for them is going to be different than what works for you. It might work for him to have you do stuff for him like make breakfast, but that doesn't mean that is their dynamic...
why can't she make breakfast anyways... perhaps some requests to pull her weight are in order while she stays with you... maybe it's time to go from guest to live in weekend boarder.
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