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Old 11-13-2010, 02:35 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by girlcaleb View Post
.......... Is it possible to be in a poly type relationship and not also be considered open? I know these are just words but I feel as if in order to find good partners I have to be more "open" then "poly" .... at first. does that make any sense?
Hey GC,

yea - try not to get wound up in terminology and labels. It only confuses what should be simple.

Remember - a lot of these terms are not exclusive and have a lot of overlap at times. Poly, open, swinging, .........even mono LOL.

Poly is very much a philosophy/belief system. Many people who 'believe' in it can't live it and many people who are living it never heard the term !

'Open' is a different term and has no linear connection to 'poly'. So make sure you and BF (and anyone else in the future) have a clear agreement of what THAT term even means. For some it means total independence and no responsibility to share information. For others it may only mean that forming new connections is allowed/expected but there's an underlying assumption that there will be an approval process. And all manner of variances in between those two extremes.
So...what do YOU mean by open - and what does it mean to your BF ?

Because in a broad, general sense, poly IS open by nature. By the definition that connections are not expected to be exclusive. But the pursuing of those relationships - when & how - has to be defined clearly so that everyone is on the same page.

Glad I saw somewhere in the thread that the point of SAFETY came up. Your BF is on track by having that as concern # 1, and as you press for your independence (openness) he's justifiably going to a LEAST want to know that you are operating in safe mode before anything else. Meeting total strangers in a park, depending on your location and park, could be considered risky.

Does any of that make sense ?
Common sense hopefully !

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