Hello, new guy here.
I just read a Newsweek article on polyamorists in Seattle today (http://www.newsweek.com/id/209164/page/1
) and was actually offended when they said that polyamory is a choice whereas homosexuality is not. When my wife and I started being poly it just kind of hapened, and it felt right and natural. We are definetly poly and have had a relationship with another couple for over 8 months now. I don't feel like we made a choice in this as much as a gay person decides to be gay. And many gay people have been in heterosexual relationships or marriages before they found their right path.
We are the new kids on the block and so far everyone is just discounting us. I've lost friends, my job (and subsequently my home), and family over my wife and I being openly poly, I wish it was just some choice that I could just sweep under the rug like other choices I could make in my life. But it is who my wife and I are. We feel natural this way.
If it is just a choice, then being gay is a choice. All homosexuals could choose to not be gay and have "normal" hetero relationships and families and deny what they know is true in their heart. It would be just the same for us if this was just some choice.