I'm with Derby, give yourself a break.
I totaly get it though, I do the same thing when Cricket stays the night. Thay are not allowed to have sex here though, so I haven't had that issue.
As far as his time with you, tell him! Or something I do from time to time when I feel we are in a rut, is I give to Karma the same treatment I am looking for. I'll spend extra time on forplay, I do new things., etc.The next time around, he usualy does something different and it pulls us out of our rut.
We have a hard time b/c my medical problems only allow for certain positions and certain time frames. But when I feel I need something new, I visit my dear friend the internet and start searching for new ideas.
Speak out for yourself. Tell your hubby that you understand he is having some serious NRE but you are feeling a bit neglected.
For us, Karma would masturbate instead of trying for sex because he was sick of the constant rejection. When I started turning my mental state around I was getting really upset that he would spend "alone time" with himself instead of me. It was a hard habit to break because he was so used to. So I instituted the ask me first, if I can't, I'll give you a BJ instead.
He had no idea how much it hurt me that he wasn't asking me, until I said something. We've really learned the last few months that we can't just assume the other knows what we need.
You've got to clue him in to your feelings and what you need.
As for the hostess feeling, I can only say I know how you feel. Like I said on the "myspace" thread, this is the exact reason why I ended overnights here. It was taking to much of a toll on me.
Though I'd encourage your hubby to take up some of the host duties. She is his g/f after all. Karma always helps me clean and prep. And nothing made the day better than Karma serving Cricket and I breakfast in bed.