@Karalilly- you seem to be doing well, good for you. This whole poly thing really brings a lot of stuff up for people on such a personal level doesn't it? It's as much of a challenge personally as it is in terms of relationships with others. It sounds like you are embracing that and aware of what is going on for you... the challenge of creating self esteem is a good place to start in terms of what you can do in this for you.
It sounds like you are willing to take the bull by the horns and become an even more amazing and wonderful person. In my experience this is very attractive to others, very empowering and I have no doubt that as a result your partner will be even more proud to be with you, more in love with you and others will be drawn to that empowered person you will become if you are able to take on your "self."
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM