That abundance vs scarcity thing reminds me of Franklin Veaux's blog. He does mention that people seem to rush in relationship with the first person that doesn't run away, for fear that they might not get another chance, while in his opinion being in love with someone doesn't mean you'll be a good partner for them or that the relationship will work.
He also say that he's always acted like relationships are abundant, and they just come to him, and people who act like they're scarce seem to have behaviours that push other people away because they seem too desperate.
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual