So let's see if I get this right. Your wife is ok with swinging and an open sexual relationship, but she is not ok with the emotional relationship that you formed with this new gal? Is that about right? Had you and the gf started getting physical yet? Are we also to assume that you and your gf had sex when you were drunk and went over there? Are you back on the wagon again?
How well do you and your wife communicate? Are you able to talk about these things or does it always/usually end in fighting? Do you know why she is uncomfortable with the situation or just that she is uncomfortable?
That's it for now, I'm sure others will have questions and comments too.
Welcome to the forums and good luck!