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Old 11-11-2010, 07:23 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by ray View Post
............ She's fine with where things are but in my opinion you don't usually wake up one morning and say, sure honey, go have sex with soandso. it won't bother me one bit. From what i've seen, it seems to be a process and often a difficult one. I think he's been waiting for her to be magically fine with it all but I don't think it happens that way.

You say "she's fine"..............
Are you and she talking at all ? Or is this coming strictly from him ?

Regardless, I think it would be great if you could find some way to connect - share some time- with her too (minus him). The more she gets to know you, the more likely it will be that things can follow a less strained course.

We talk a lot about this. It really is important everyone know each other and at least respect each other. This doesn't imply BFF, lovers, etc. Just a respectful friendship. It just makes everyone more open and comfortable.

I do realize there are situations where V's are operating without this prescription but my experience at least has observed that to be in the minority, and less successful. Our nature makes most of us more comfortable when we are dealing with 'knows' vs 'unknowns.

Tell us about your relationship with her ?

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