Tough spot Ray. Very sorry for the frustration. Kudos to you for doing things according to the slowest members pace. I've always said that's one of the biggest keys to success in this lifestyle. I hope that she will work through her concerns quickly so you two can progress...
...If of course he wants that to happen. I'm a bit confused when he says that he doesn't want to "drag you back into it". Into what? Aren't you already in "it"? Have you had a frank conversation about what he was referring to when he said that?
I hope it's not a situation where he's trying to let you down easy, or hasn't found an appropriate means of telling you he's not interested. You said he's older than you, so I'm hoping he has more respect for you than that.
I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted. We're here if you need to talk.
Live life to the fullest 'cause you never know if you're gonna wake up tomorrow!