Gwendolyn my dear,
You are very welcome. For me there is always hope. And if one avenue of pleasure and love doesn't work out there are plenty of people dying to be loved and accepted as they are. We are all one after all.
I am always reminded by J that the world is full of possibility. Why waste energy on the worst, when the best is just as likely and often what happens is better than we would have imagined for ourselves. He has taught me to view the world with an attitude of attentive wonder and expectation of what the world will do next. My fixation on a specific outcome is just prepaid resentment and pain. I try daily to just wait and see without judgement. no always easy for me (a control freak) but always rewarding.