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Old 11-11-2010, 02:54 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by ray View Post
T.......... Even when I wish there was more it's always a vision of becoming a co-primary with his wife. And I'm also ok with that not happening. I'm open to dating other people and he worries that I won't give other people a chance because I'm too focused on him. I'm just picky though. When I met him, I felt a connection, things flowed. I don't feel that with people often. Why would I want to invest time in someone that doesn't make me feel that way? It's not that I'm not open, I just haven't met anyone else yet. Keep in mind, that I am young and likely stupid. I've never been in any other relationships except for this one. I've tried to explain to him that what I would like is to be physically involved again. but he keeps making excuses as to why it's not good for me.
Hey Ray,

It's a tough situation. I've been "that guy" in the past and it took me some time & heartbreak to learn how to swim that water properly (if I have?). I have a feeling you may be on to something when you mentioned in a prev post that you felt he was trying to protect you from something you don't feel you need protecting from.

There are a lot of possibilities for why he is being a little timid in this - which I won't go into here. But I think it WOULD flow much better between you if you did have someone else in your life too. Even a few casual dates might make him feel more comfortable. Just knowing that you are not becoming too dependent on him (emotionally) could make a huge difference.
It seems you obviously love this guy a lot and I think that's wonderful. But I think it will flow best between you if you can just try to live in each other's live 1 day at a time. Celebrate what you have together and don't be looking too far into the future or building castles in the air as we say. That in itself can put a lot of strain on a relationship and drive a wedge where there otherwise might not be one.

Does that make any sense ?

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