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Old 11-11-2010, 01:55 PM
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gomugirl1656 gomugirl1656 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 78

My boyfriend and I recently discussed this very thing. He said "I want more from this relationship" I agreed with him. I had been keeping it on the DL because he had previously expressed a desire to have a mono relationship with someone who could give him kids and a sort of parent friendly life. Our relationship has grown to the point though that he is willing to sacrifice that for what we offer him in love and friendship. He's even talking about being poly oriented because he doesn't want to lose me.

So R, J and I talked and came to the conclusion that it would be great to try to live together. There are a few caveats though which make this a long drawn out process. He lives 3hrs away, has a career he's been in a long time, lives in a town he loves, has cats (i have allergies).

We own our house and have to stay in it as our primary res for another two years because of the first time home buyers credit, have dogs, are trying to get debt down so I can leave my job of 15years, and we live too close to R's parents for him to feel comfy as he is not out yet to them. So lots of stuff to deal with. None of it insurmountable we are working toward this goal but it will be a while. In the mean time we have made plans to see each other one possibly two weekends a month until then and we now vacation together. This worked out beautifully last weekend. We all had such a wonderful time.

But for us wanting more came with lots of discussion, options, and plans. If he had a wife and/or kids that would further complicate things. For now we are content. He's coming down for Thanksgiving to hang with his family and come and meet my siblings for the first time. We are pretty excited.

With open honest communication and a couple of fantastic people to be in love with we are getting the more we are looking for. It is working out so far and I have faith that it will continue to do so. However, I am not so attached to the idea of together forever or that nothing will change to not be able to let go should that time come. Of course I would be broken hearted but I would survive it. I just have to keep reminding myself to let it roll. R and I were together 8 years before the desire for more happened. Hang in there.
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